


the one where Red is a teacher

by modelmagic



Category: Angry Birds - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, POV First Person, but it's all in good fun I don't seriously hate him, chuck/red is brought up all throughout but only actually have one scene at the end, the way I interpret Bubbles is affected by my joking hatred of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-30
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-07 06:51:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12227799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/modelmagic/pseuds/modelmagic
Summary: it's in the title





	the one where Red is a teacher

Anniversaries are something I’ve always heard other birds get worried sick about. They go out of their way to get the perfect gift for their special someone, but I never got why. You see that someone or at least talk to them all the time, I’m guessing. Why would you spend thousands of dollars on someone just because it’s been a year since you met them? I’m sure that if you got each other nothing, absolutely NOTHING at all, everything would still be fine. The world isn’t ending just because you didn’t buy them that gold flat screen they wanted or whatever.

…I never had an anniversary before, okay?! That changed, though. Literally everything I just said? I take it all back.

My anniversary with Chuck was almost here and he already has this big date for us to go on. I had to give him a present, but I couldn’t think of anything. I know that if I told him about this, he’d probably be like “Aw, Red. You don’t have to give me anything!”, while he probably gives me the best gift ever.

That’s another thing. I have no idea what he’s giving me, but it’ll be way better than anything I can get him. He once gave me every flower on the island on a simple date we had, for pluck’s sake! I really had to bring my A-game.

I need to buy him something and I don’t think I have enough money. I still had no idea what to get him, but I know that when I do, I won’t be able to afford it. Ugh.

I found a center that had applications open for different jobs. It was a new one, the old one I went to sucked. The jobs they had open were the worst. A clown. Seriously? Do I look like someone who can make kids laugh? …I hated that job.

The bird there started talking to me about the different spots they had open and none of them were really doing it for me. I never got his name, so I just call him “Comb Over”. He had green feathers, except for the grey ones at the top of his head. He was tall and lanky with a long beak. He wore glasses and the ugliest sweater vest I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I pity that man.

So, Comb Over was running out of options for jobs to give me and I got nervous. I need a job real bad and I shouldn’t be picky about it but… I was being picky about it.

His last option was being a substitute teacher at a local school for about a week. No teaching degree needed or anything, as long as you had some knowledge of the subject, are good with kids, and don’t have a criminal record I guess.

That didn’t seem so bad. I remember back when I was in school, substitute teachers just sat there, maybe gave out a worksheet, and that was it. Comb Over said that he’d check up on the class now and then to see how I’m managing. And I had to be there like all day? Nice. I like the idea of getting payed for doing nothing.

I accepted the job and it started the next day. Then, I was hit with a realization.

It’s summer.

I was gonna be a substitute teacher for kids in summer school, who are in there for a reason. And I had to teach them, not just sit there.

Pluck.

//

I spent the morning making things ready in the classroom…A. K. A. I just wrote my name on the board and sat there organizing the pencils on my desk. And then reorganizing them because the order was bugging me. This tie I’m wearing is bothering me too.

Finally, class started and students were coming in. Extremely slowly. I wasn’t gonna be too strict about their attendance, though. It’s summer school. I’d be the last bird to get here if I had to take classes during the time I’m supposed to be relaxing.

They all seem to be seniors. These birds are like five years younger than me and some of them are three times my height. I hate this.

I remember when I was a senior, and it was awful. Nobody ever shut up. The only reason I passed was because I didn’t have any friends to distract me, I didn’t care about all those “class activities” (Read: “horrible parties”) we constantly had, and I didn’t have anything better to do than study. How do others have any sort of good memories from when they were in school? How’s that even possible?!

This class was supposed to be really big, but there aren’t that many students here. No one has walked in through the door in a while, so I thought that it was a good a time as any to take roll. I marked birds absent here and there, until I reached a name I actually recognize.

“Bubbles?” I called out.

Whenever I made an ass of myself in public, he’d always be the first one to ‘boo’ me. What’s his damage? That bird was a troublemaker with a sweet tooth. I actually feel kinda bad for his friend Hal, and how he always ends up being part of Bubbles’ schemes. Why do they even hang out?

I cringed thinking about all the trouble he’d cause now that I’m here, but he wasn’t in class. I gave a quiet sigh of relief and continued calling out roll.

SLAM.

The door suddenly opened and in came Bubbles. You’d think he’d make some grand entrance but nope. He nonchalantly walks to an empty seat at the front, not caring at all about how late he is. Yeah, already I can tell why he’s in summer school in the first place.

He looks at me and takes a few seconds to recognize me, a devious grin creeping on his face. At this moment, I wished that he wouldn’t try to pull anything funny on me, but I know not-that-deep down that there’s no chance that this will /not/ happen.

//

Comb Over said I had to teach them about history. Or something like that. I was too distracted by that disgusting hairstyle. Why does he do that to himself. All I know is basic facts about how Bird Island came to be. Oh well, that’s what I’m teaching then. They probably won’t even notice that this is like stuff they teach birds half their age.

I turned to the board to write some questions for them to copy and answer, but kept hearing some irritating talking happening behind me. I told them to stop. They did, except for one voice that I unfortunately knew who it belonged to.

“Bubbles, I told you to stop talking.” I said firmly.

Thankfully, he did shut up and I went back to writing… Only for him to make a paper airplane and throw it at my back. That kid acts like he’s five years old and looks …like he’s five years old. I keep calling him and everyone else here a kid but they’re plucking seniors.

I would’ve just kicked him out, honestly. Obviously he doesn’t care about any of this and I’m not getting payed enough to deal with this for a week. I tried my damn hardest to not yell at him because I knew that Comb Over would walk in at any moment to check up on me teaching. I simply told him to sit in a desk at the back of them room. Not that bad, right?

“Sweet. I can charge my phone back there.” Ugh. Kids today… are just as annoying as ever. They were always annoying.

//

Telling the class to turn to a page and read quietly was easy. Mainly because it meant that I’d stop talking and they’d stop being bored out of their minds. How quiet it was didn’t last long because Bubbles started playing music way too plucking loud on his phone to distract everyone. Does he just not have headphones?

I went to him to tell him to stop since he shouldn’t even have his phone out in the first place. Weirdly, he did stop and I went back to my desk.“

And then he immediately yells out “Hey, teach!”

“…What is it now, Bubbles?”

A big grin got on his face. “Rumor has it that you’re gay-y-y!” He said with a sing-song voice on that last word, getting a few snickers from the whole class.

I’ve only been here for a few hours and no one really knows me. There can’t be any rumors going around already. He was just trying to mess with me. I still responded, though.

“Yeah.” Well, …I am, so…

That seemed to immediately make everyone in class shut up, even Bubbles. I’m guessing they were expecting me to deny it until I admitted it. Hm.

Bubbles spoke up, but this time he was genuinely asking. He actually wasn’t yelling. Never heard this voice of his before. “Like, …for real?”

I rolled my eyes. Why are they like this? “Yeah. You’ve met my boyfriend. The yellow bird? Yeah, him.”

The class went back to being quiet and stayed like that for a while. Comb Over even walked in to check on the us and was in awe over how calm the students were. He thought I had them “positively intrigued” by what I’m teaching them. Ha.

//

Things got less quiet. They shook off whatever the hell made them so shocked and it went back to Bubbles wasting time being a class clown. He brought candy to eat (It was literally the only thing he brought in his backpack.) and distracted the class, the whole entire class, because then they got hungry. The attention span of paperclips. Candy isn’t even that great.

He wasn’t supposed to be eating in class. Do you know how ANNOYING it is when all you hear is crunching?!

Bubbles and I were going back and forth arguing, no doubt the most interesting thing that has happened in class to the kids that weren’t part of this. At this point, I’m being more like myself and less like a teacher because I have had enough of his disrespect.

…Yes, I know that this sounds ironic coming from me. But I have my reasons for being mean to others. Usually.

I raised my voice at him and he said “Chill, Eyebrows.” while getting paper to make his eyebrows look like mine. Which made the rest of the class burst out laughing.

This was the last straw.

This really is like back when I was in school. Too many flashbacks were happening all at the same time. I could’ve ran out, but that would’ve made things worse. I can just imagine them going home or to their friends boasting about how they made their teacher, a grown man, cry, and make it seem like it’s just because someone made fun of his looks. And nothing else. It’s not like they reminded him of past stuff or anything, he just doesn’t like being called ugly!

I channeled my sadness and turned it into the emotion I’m best known for. Just like I’ve been doing for who knows how long.

I blinked any tears away and grit my teeth. I lift the orange bird up and yell “WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!”

Everyone in the room is shocked, but my impulsiveness is only half of the reason because guess what.

Guess plucking what.

Comb Over stops by again to check on the class.

And I just picked up a student instead of teaching and yelled at his face.

Oh joy.

We stare at each other for a full minute in complete silence.

“So. I’m out, right?”

“What do you think?”

I drop Bubbles and stomp out the door. This was the second shortest job I’ve ever had.

//

I took my time on the way home. I even stopped by Stella’s place to vent about what happened. “Screaming about what happened” would be more accurate wording, but anyway. She’s used to hearing my complaints.

I get home and Chuck greets me with a kiss on the cheek. He asked me how my day was and I lied and said that it was fine because I just hung out with Stella. I mean, …it was only partially a lie? I did hang out with her… Kinda.

He looks at me and says that he knows what I was actually up to all day.

“What?! But wh- How did you-”

“I overheard Bubbles earlier when I was shopping with Bomb! I eavesdropped and Bomb said I shouldn’t but I had to, Bubbles was talking about you! He seemed really proud of himself. He loves doing stuff like this to teachers, apparently! How hasn’t he been expelled yet? Why does Hal even hang out with him? He’s a good kid! They’re no good for each other, just saying.” Chuck said with a shrug at the end.

Ignoring how Chuck went off topic in the last half of what he just said, I was getting mad at how I was right that they’d talk about what happened in class to others. At least, I didn’t cry…Chuck looks at me worried. He’s really… protective when it comes to me being upset and he tries to do anything he can to fix it.

I thought I’d just come out and say how I brought this onto myself and why I even got another job in the first place.

“Chuck, I know you probably think that I don’t have to get you anything, but you giving me something and me not giving you something back? Do you know how awful I’d feel?! It’s my first time being one of those birds who worry about what to get for the bird they love, after I spent all my life finding all this really dumb. So, I got that job and I didn’t think it through and it was way plucking worse than I thoug-”

He kisses me.

“You did all of that for me! That’s so sweet of you?! And, duh. Of course I don’t care if you get me something or not! You know I’ll be happy just by being with you! I love you!”

I smirk at him. “That’s really gay.”

He smiles and rests his forehead on mine. “I know.”

After a few minutes, he zooms off for a second and I nearly fall on my face. He comes back with a bag full of candy. I don’t really like candy, though? What’s this about?

“Uh?”

Chuck smiles as much as he can before answering. “I took them from Bubbles when he wasn’t looking. He got so-o-o mad! You should’ve seen the look on his face. You would’ve loved it!”

I look at him affectionately. “I love you.”


End file.
